When I arrived at school, Raven approached me and helped me with my stuff as what he always does.
“So, what’s the mood for today?” he asked as we walk towards our building and added, “you seem so tired.”
“Um… I don’t know,” I said weakly.
“Is something bothering you?” he asked as we enter the main entrance.
“I don’t think so,” I answered.
“Oh come on, tell me what it is,” he pleaded.
I put all my unimportant stuff in the locker and closed it.
“Oh come on Jed’s,” he said and added, “You can never fool me.”
“Okay,” I finally gave up and said, “The mood for today is I-really-don’t-know! I want to cry but no single tear would come out. I want to be happy but I can’t laugh.”
He looked at me with the unknown-look again
“What?” I asked.
“So, I guess the mood for today is confusing, huh?” he said.
“I guess so,” I answered - 7 -back.
“In case you need somebody to laugh or cry with, don’t forget to give me a beep, ok?” he said and added, “Anyways, I’ve got something to tell you.” And he ran for his class.
I was puzzled, what was he going to say. He’s never done that to me not until today. What would it be? I thought about it for a while.
During one of our classes, Marivic called my attention.
“Jed’s, Raven has got something to tell you,” she said while holding her phone with both hands and pressing the buttons quickly.
“Yeah, I know he’s got something to say. But, I don’t know what it is,” I said in a near whisper so that our teacher won’t hear us and added, “Do you have any idea what it is?” She didn’t answer me directly but I know she knows something.
After a few moments she said, “Jeda, it goes like this, he met this girl over SMS. He found her very nice to him and caring and sweet and all. You know that kind of stuff.”
“So?” I asked.
“And,” she sighed and added, “and that girl is you.”
I closed my eyes in shock. But I can sense something like this would be happening soon. But I never thought that it would be this soon.
After hearing what Marivic had told me, I feel cold and weak and I feel like breaking down right there and then! Wow, that hurts for me. I don’t want to hurt him, he’s my friend and he knows well who I like most and who I am in love with. Oh dude! How am I going to handle this?
During our break, Marivic told me that Raven would like to talk with us. And that is me, Marivic and Dave! Yes, the worst of all is that he told Dave about it! Raven knew well that I’ve got a big crush on him to the extent that I started loving him. I’m worried that our meeting next Saturday will be cancelled due to this. I hope it would not happen!
But we hadn’t got the chance to talk. I’m busy with the incoming project and band practices and hanging out with friends.
A week later, while I was busy surfing for dresses for the incoming soiree of the whole school, I’ve got this message from Marivic through IM saying,
“Jeda, I’m xur dis wil giv u a shock! Dave has a gF!!! Jst lst wk!! Da nym s
What?!?!?!?! Somebody please slap me on the face and tell me that I’m just dreaming! This isn’t true! Not a week before our meeting! Oh my! What will I do?
The next morning, I let Mari and Ross read Marivic’s message. And they were shock too.
“What?!” said Mari and added, “How could he not tell us about it?”
“Yeah,” agreed Ross and added, “We’ve been sending messages to each other for a long time now and he didn’t say a word about that matter.”
We all go to the rage at this time. We decided to stop sending him messages and stop talking to him. But in the middle of the day, I can’t resist the temptation of sending him a message. So, I sent him a quote, not knowing what the quote is. He didn’t give a single reply so I sent him many quotes stored in my cell phone not expecting for any reply. Just want to annoy him that’s all!
I’m heartbroken! He broke it by not telling me about that thing, that
“What?!?!?!?!” Dawn exclaimed.
“No way!!!” Richelle disagreed.
“That bastard!” said Rozen in her war shock tone and added, “I’ll give him what he deserves!” She started to walk out of the café with some of the girls.
“No need,” I said and they stopped.
“Jed’s, you can’t stay being the loser all the time,” Ghealze said.
“Yeah, and we won’t let any guy hurt you like this,” Rozen said defensively.
“I’m going to fix this on my own. We’re going to meet this Saturday. I’ll wait ‘till that day comes and I’ll talk to him and I’ll tell him what I really feel!” I said to them.
Vince is reading again. Pretending not to see what is happening. I felt heavier at the sight of it. How could she act like that when all of us are worried? She’s never like that, not until the prince talked to him.
“By the way, Kristina, what are you going to do with Monnien?” I said just to change the topic of discussion for lunch.
“I say it would be a deal,” Rozen said.
“Yeah, me too,” Richelle agreed and added, “he seems too serious with you and I know that he’s a good guy.”
She looked at us and said, “Let’s just wait for Wednesday to come!”
It’s Wednesday, the day of Kristina’s verdict to Monnien. We arrived at the Carnival around 6pm. Monnien is with his group of friends. They are James the bad guy; Karl Jon; Albeth the most irritable; Jayson James the acoustic dude; Alien the playboy, and; Michael the silent one.
We directly went to the food slots. That’s our favorite part of any place we go. After buying our food, we meet with Monnien and his friends near the benches.
“Hi,” we greeted happily and they greeted us too.
“Can I talk to your friend personally?” he asked us smiling while holding Kristina’s hands.
We all giggled and smiled back at him and said, “Sure!”
“Take your time guys,” I said. And they took a stroll at the oval, the only quiet place in the Carnival’s premises.
Wow! They look so sweet. If only I could have my own man like that. I wish it would be Dave but he already got his girlfriend.
Well, while waiting for the two of them, we were jamming with Monnien’s friends. Jayson plays the guitar and we sing. I also played a song but I guess they didn’t jive with it (it’s not their type of music). We bought some food again and chat a lot.
After fifteen minutes, the lovebirds came back from their moment. Kristina was teary-eyed while Monnien’s expression is indefinable. He’s worried but happy but is… I don’t know.
I gave Kristina this so-what’s-the-decision-look. She gave us a thumbs-up sign and we all hugged her. Monnien is her first boyfriend and so do Kristina is Monnien’s firs girlfriend. This is so great! At least my sadness faded at this moment.
Monnien and his friends treated us to this pizza parlor near the Carnival. We all munch, munch and munch!
In the middle of our celebration, Karl Jon stood up and raises his glass of soda and said, “Ladies and gentlemen! Let’s have a toast and offer this to our lovebirds for tonight, Monnien and Kristina!”
We all laugh, clapped our hands and drink up some soda. At the end of this mini-celebration, Monnien drove Kristina home together with Dawn. Kristina’s grandparents and mom were very strict about these things before. Not until we made them realize what the new generation is.
Well, back to me. I started driving home. In the middle of my driving, I halted down the road for a moment. I rested my head on my steering wheel. I thought deeply,
‘I freely accept my imperfections, my curly hair and my semi-deep voice. But am I really that bad for him not to give me attention or take a look at me??’
I sighed and said to myself, “Well, I guess we’ve got to face the truth.” And I started up my engines and went home.
The next morning I scanned the messages I got overnight. And I haven’t got any message from Dave! That is disappointing. Yeah, very disappointing!
As I went to the back compartment of my car, I saw Raven standing with his hands on his pocket, standing two meters away from me.
“Hey, ain’t you going to help me with my stuff?” I asked, as if Marivic hadn’t told me something, and he walked towards me. When I was about to open the back compartment, Raven hold my hand to catch my attention.
“What?” I asked in shock.
“I’ve got something to tell you,” he said.
“Then, say it. You don’t have to give me a shock,” I said and he let go of my hands. I gathered all my stuff and took steps backwards to close the compartment.
“But Jeda I—”
“But what?”
“It’s just that I wa—”
“Oh stop all these non sense!” I said and started walking towards the building. He walked after me and finally caught up after a few steps.
“But, it’s something that I really need to say,” he justified while we were both walking briskly.
I stopped and said, “how about if we talk about that before lunch? Got that?” I didn’t wait for any reply from him. I don’t need it any way. I then continued walking towards the building.
I haven’t told my friends about what Marivic had told me about Raven. I guess it’s because, I’m afraid that they’ll brag about this or maybe I’m just too weak to say.
While waiting for the twelve of them at our favorite bench, Raven saw me. He sat beside me.
“So,” I started and added, “What are you going to say?” He looked at me in the eye and didn’t bother to say a word.
“What?” I asked, “Are we going to just sit here?” He took a deep breath, look away and said, “Don’t you think you’re lovable?” I was about to utter a word but he came up with an explanation quickly.
“Because my life has been happier than before after Larissa has dumped me and you comforted me,” he said quickly. I wasn’t able to say a word. I’ve driven such person to love me. Oh my! This is my fault!
“Don’t you think you’re beautiful?” he said.
“No, I don’t think so,” was my curt reply.
“Well, I guess you should,” he said and added, “you let me realize about world’s beauty by just being you. And—”
“Stop it!” I cut in, stood up and said, “I don’t want to hurt you or something but I can’t give anything in return of you efforts. And you well knew who I love, right?”
“Yeah, I do. But I’m not asking you to give anything in return,” he justified and stood up, too.
“Then what do you want?” I asked, my tears falling down.
“I just want you to know about it,” he said and added, “and I’m hoping that one day, you’ll consider me.”
“That’s it! I’m afraid I might hurt you,” I said and added, “I don’t want you to be hurt again just like what Larissa had done last year. And—”
“And you don’t need to bother about it,” he cut in.
“What?” I asked in confusion and added, “What do you mean not bother about it when it involves me and my best friend. How dare I am to not to care about it?”
“It’s just that—” he tried to explain but I cut in.
“And do you think I could sleep at night knowing that I am hurting my best friend?” I didn’t wait for his answer and started to walk towards the café.
I didn’t bother waiting for my friends in our favorite bench and decided to just wait for them in the café. I wipe my tears with my hankies, and entered the café with my shades on.
Trish noticed my weird look. She sat in front of me and asked, “What’s the matter?”
I smiled at her weakly and said, “Nothing. It’s just that I’m tired.”
“Oh come on. You can’t fool me. I knew you well,” she said.
“We know,” Rozen said. They have arrived. I was shocked.
“Yeah,” Janne agreed, “all this time she was keeping her little secret from us.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Raven,” Cecile started.
“Who is your best friend,” Kristina added.
“Is in love with you!” Dawn announced.
“What? How did you know about it?” I asked startled.
“We were there,” revealed Joanna.
“And we heard everything,” added Cathy.
“I’m sorry guys. It’s just that I don’t know how to say it to you and I’m afraid that you’ll be mad at me,” I explained.
“Hey, what are you talking about?” Daphne asked.
“Ain’t you mad at me that I didn’t listen to your advices?” I asked.
“Of course not,” Sonny Lou said.
“We can’t blame you,” Richelle said.
“You’re way too friendly to be blamed,” Rozen said. They comforted me again this time and I don’t bother crying in front of them. Vince is still in the other side of the world. Busy with her new friend in YM.
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