My Realization of Being A Perfectionist Writer

It's still 5 in the morning and I have nothing to do. I wonder what shall I do at this time so I sat infront of my study table and looked at the mess. I saw my newly bought issue of my favorite mag. I decided to rescan the pages and reread the articles. I chance upon the editor-in-chief's monthly letter to Candy readers in her section, "Ed's Scrapbook". She admitted she had been a true perfectionist with her writing before. She said she can't even write that first sentence because she's afraid of making a mistake. Then I realized, that goes with me too. Everytime I am asked to write about something, it would really take me a long time, staring at a blank page thinking, "What would be my first sentence?" or "How should I start this?" or even, "Should I write or not?" Maybe that's why I am not winning any writing contest. Maybe that's why I am not able to write long interesting stuff. It's because I'm afraid of making a single mistake.

I never knew I was a perfectionist in my writing not until Ate Mia shared her story. Maybe it's not only in my writing that I'm a perfectionist Maybe, I am in everything I do but I just don't notice it.

Well, whatever it will be, my special thanks to Ate Mia for making me realize that. I hope Icould cope with it soon.

Thanks Candy Team! You really are our best-est friend on this whole wide world!!!

Keep Rockin' Ate's and Kuya!!\m/,

Girl: Hey
Boy: What?
Girl: I really like you. And I... Ithink I'm falling in love with you.
Boy: Ok...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe anothertime...

From then on, the girl kept asking theboy "Why not?" whenever she saw him,andhe kept answering the same answerof "I'll tell you later." Finally thegirl gotfed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're uglier than freak! What's the point of going outwithsomeone when they're not pretty?!(The nerve!! soo superficial!!)
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sittingthere alone, crying her heart out.Then her cell phone rings.
Girl: Hello?
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to gohome, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
Girl: ByeThe girl heads home and once she gotthere, she went in the bathroom andlookedat herself in the mirror.
Girl: I'm not pretty enough...She set to work, knowing fully wellwhat she was going to do. 2 hourslater, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to find thehallway flooded so she knocked on thedoor.
Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
She opened the door and was shocked atthe site. The bath was overflowing ontothe floor, and the water was tintedred. She walked over to see what wasinsideand screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police whensomething caught her eye. On themirror were these words written inblood: "Am Ipretty enough now?"
No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know.A person's appearance doesn't count.What counts is their heart inside ofthemand their personality. No one wants tobe told they're not good enough...


I found this posted on my bulletin on my friendster. I feel so sad for the girl and so goddamn freakin' mad with the boy! I wish I was there to cheer the girl up. We're on the same road!

Grounded Gal!

I was checkin' out on quizzes on 'candymag.com' and found this quiz that will tell you how hard you fall. I decided to take the quiz and here's the result:

Grounded Gal. You're currently in love or are aware that true love is just
around the corner. You go to school looking your best because someone makes you
smile. Just hang on to your sanity and you'll stay inspired.

Take more quizzes like this on Candymag.com


And I was like...."Whaaaat?? It's me!" And I stay simple at because its my best look. Take the quiz gals so that you know how hard you fall!

What I hate about travelling by bus!!

Whenever I go back to our home in the province, I would really ride the bus, specifically, an airconditioned bus. I don't ride a non-airconditioned bus. It makes me sick.
What I hate about buses is the nauseous smell of the brake fluid. Erk! Dude, it sucks! I wish there would be better buses here in our place.

can I let him go?

Why is he always on my mind? Why do I still love him despite of the hurts he had caused me? Why is it so hard to let him go?

I try not to think about him but he is in everything I do, in everything I say. It's like his shadow is everywhere. And everything around me reminds me of him. S**t! Why is he always on my mind?

I admit it. I cried because of him. And I admit that I am jerk for doing that. I cried because I know for a fact that I could never have him. And the last time was because he lied to me. There was one time I cried because he's not going to text me nor talk to me. It was like, I'm gonna die. And how I wish I was a completely different person. Many times I've been hurt but I still hold on to him eventhough I know he's not going to be mine.

My bestfriend would always say, "Let go of him, best. He's not worth it." Yeah. She's absolutely right but I still can't. It's so hard to let go of something that you have started to love. He's been here (in my heart) for 6 damn years! And I don't know when will I ever learn to let him go. Or the worst,

can I let him go?

AW, man! I'm tired. I'm sick. ANd probably, I could kill myself.

So, yah...I'm such a jerk of loving him even though I know he will never to me. Maybe I became a T.H. But what can I do? That's what my heart tells me to do so. And I know I became jerk-er even when I shed a tear because of him when he's even not mine. Well, I cried because of that. But I don't know. He's been here in my heart for six years and I don't even know when I would forget about him.

AW, man! I'm tired. I'm sick. ANd probably, I could kill myself.

I hate him!!
I hate his friend...
I hate his attitude....

But still...
I like him....
I love him...
Is this true love???
Or is this just a freakin' feeling...
Heeeeeeelp...
I need it...
Badly....
[T_\\\]